Pause by Sara Stamey
Author:Sara Stamey [Stamey, Sara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Women's Fiction, Romance Later in Life, Menopause humor, Divorce, Dating and Relationships, Domestic Abuse, Friendship, environmental
ISBN: 9781611389630
Publisher: Book View Cafe
Published: 2021-05-25T05:00:00+00:00
Newmanâs heartbeat, beneath Lindseyâs ear, has settled into a slow, even rhythm. He begins to snore quietly, and she smiles, wondering when he last slept. He twitches then, arms tightening around her, and he wakes up with a funny little snort, to blink into her eyes.
He smiles. âI canât remember when Iâve felt this⦠completely relaxed.â
She touches his chest, over his heart. âFeels like this is how it should be.â Another uprush of emotion fills her, and her vision blurs.
âLindsey.â His voice is gentle, his hand stroking her hair. âThis isâ¦.â His hands lift like wings, then settle again. âI am so drawn to you. Seems like we hardly have a choice but to make love if we so much as look at each other. But⦠Iâm mixed up. I donât know if Iâm ready for this.â
A cold stab in her gut. This is what was in his voice on the phone. âOh.â She starts to pull away, brushing her fingers over her damp eyes.
âNo, stay here. Please.â He urges her back down to rest on his shoulder. âLindsey, Iâm not a talker, seems like words donât always communicate the best way for me. But I want to tell you about being in Bali this time. Maybe it was sharing with you, being with you, before I left, butâ¦.â
He takes a deep breath, blows it out. âBeing there, with the monsoon hitting and hunkering down with the villagers, and going out to see the temple weâd built years ago. It was exciting again. Being alive. I guess I didnât realize how those last years of my marriage had sort of shut me down, and then the divorce was so bad. Still is, dealing with Kimberlyâ¦. But I reconnected in Bali. I remembered how life used to be an adventure. How the work I was doing then meant something, building the temples, passing on my teacherâs wisdom, and I was living fully in the moment.â He shakes his head. âThis isnât coming out right.â
She nods into his shoulder. âKeep going.â
âI was thinking about you. A lot. Wanting to feel you again, make love to you, open you up like a gift to both of us and find out all about you.â He sighs. âAnd I just donât know⦠It was taking me away from that being back in the moment, that coming back to myself.â A little shrugging movement. âMaybe finding healing.â
âButâ¦.â Lindsey doesnât know what heâs trying to say. âYou think this is bad? Iâm hurting you?â She touches his chest again, hesitantly this time.
âNo. No, thatâs not it.â His arms tighten around her for a moment, then loosen. âItâs just⦠when I heard your message, talking about the âGuest Houseâ poem, and I heard all that in your voice, tooâso much turmoil like Iâve been going through over the divorce, and way before. I felt overwhelmed, Lindsey. Like this is too much, too fast.â
Lindsey pulls away from him, sitting up to take a deep breath, stabbed by the ice again.
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African American | Contemporary |
Divorce | Domestic Life |
Friendship | Mothers & Children |
Single Women | Sisters |
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